Last Words
by Candied sweets xD
Summary: Juliet pours her heart out into her diary just before setting off the chain of events that result in her suicide. English coursework, mushiness warning


**This was something I wrote for my English coursework and I felt particularly proud of it (for once) so I decided to post it up here! -shot- Basically empathic writing for Romeo and Juliet.**

**I apologize in advance for the mushiness D:  
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**Disclaimer: Is this even necessary...?**

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**Dear Diary,

When I finish writing this, I will be dead. Or, at least, in a state of near death. For this is the only way I will be able to be together with my beloved Romeo again. We have suffered much, him and I. We have been through all the good and bad in the world in the space of a moment, but our separation is simply a state of things. A state that I wish to undo, and quickly.

Too much has happened for me to even think coherently. In these thirty-six hours, I have become a bride, I have witnessed the horrible death of my cousin and the punishment of my husband, and the green mask of a maiden has been torn from my face. And now, my husband is gone, taken by the lark's hideous song and the cruel rays of the sun. Oh, this world is merciless. We have been together for such a short time, and it feels both like years and like moments. But whether it has been centuries or mere seconds, I don't ever want to be pulled away from Romeo as abruptly as we were today. Yet we were.

It hurts so much. My heart is twisting and contorting and I just want this to end! If only I could make a falconer's call, then I could bring my little falcon back again. What has this come to? My heart now belongs solely and completely to Romeo, and this pain I am feeling now, this pain that runs so deep it is physically hurting me, is all for him. When we speak of love, we think of happiness, of hearts, of innocent little cherubs. Never do we think of the tearful heartache, the rivers of remorse and regret that ensue.

Is love worth it? Perhaps everything, even something intangible like love, has both a light and dark side. The shining dazzle of heaven was once marred by the blackness of Satan. '_And so as it is in heaven, so it shall be on earth'_. I wish, for once, we could break away from the cruel grip of heaven. But it cannot be. We are tied to the gods as spiders to their webs and children to their mothers.

Who would have thought that my only love had to be of my only hate? I still remember those words I spoke to myself on the balcony: 'O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name.' How very naïve we were. How could we possibly think that that would solve the problem? But then again, fault for this situation lies solely in our families. I want to just go back to my balcony, where we proclaimed our love for each other. It was so sweet when he told me: 'I am no pilot. Yet, wert thou as far as that vast shore washed with the farthest sea, I would adventure for such merchandise.' For every girl wishes for a man who will readily sacrifice himself for her. However, I fear his willingness to do this had come with a terrible price.

I know I love Romeo. But I also know that Romeo killed Tybalt. Tybalt, my beloved cousin who has guided me through obstacles in my life, entertained me when we were bored. He may have been a little hotheaded and brash, but it is a pity for him to have been killed the way he was. I will not blame his killer, as the killer is none other than my dearest husband. But for him to have died at a happy time like this is far too regrettable. He will be missed.

Herein lies the dilemma: my family, or Romeo? As much as I grieve for dear Tybalt's death, I will still love Romeo. Romeo, my precious, my sweet, the idol and god that I worship. I love him with all my heart and soul, and that will never change. The stars will cease to shine when I stop loving Romeo. I have already chosen my path, and that is to be forever with Romeo. But how many problems will that cause me? I must prepare for the avalanche of misfortunes that will surely cascade upon me. In fact, they already have; banishment was most unjust and while compensating for one life, is ruining another. Furthermore, my father has just demanded that I marry Paris.

My hand! It has been touched by one who is not my beloved, kissed by lips that are not Romeo's. He has much courage to call me 'his lady and his wife'. It is preposterous, making such assumptions before anything has been made certain. It is most shameful indeed! Oh, lord! I swear to you, I will never marry Paris and commit this crime of bigamy; there is nothing my father can do about it. He can tell his companions whatever he wants, but I am not a servant that will follow him in blind obedience. How dare he call me a 'curse' and 'young baggage'? I am his _daughter_, for heaven's sake! I may be of the female sex, but I am still a human being, a human being from his own flesh and blood, no less. And as a human being, I am still entitled to my thoughts and opinions.

Maybe open defiance is not the solution, but my marriage to Paris is an impossible dream, and my father will understand that soon. All my life, my parents have stressed the importance of committing to her husband. And now, I have a husband! I will not shame him by marrying another man! I have made my vows, and I will not go back on them.

Following father's outburst, I rushed to Friar Lawrence's cell and cried that I would rather die than marry another man. After a short burst of panic, he gave me the solution to save our situation. A small vial which I now hold in my hand, that will evoke upon me fake death, after which my deranged family will bury me in the family crypt. Then Romeo will come and we shall elope to a place free of this melancholy. It is hard for me to believe that something so harmless looking can work such miracles, but I trust that this poison will pave the path that will lead me back to my husband.

The question of loyalty has been answered. I will abandon my family and my life here to be with the one I love. When I wake up from my deep slumber, I will be with Romeo. Maybe… maybe all this suffering will not matter, as long as I can be with Romeo. The pain caused to my parents and friends is lamentable, but a noble sacrifice for our passionate cause. Goodbye, dear world. I will see you again as a different person: a wife building her life with her beautiful husband, Romeo.


End file.
